According to psychologists, contention is a natural thing in a relationship and it is better than no argument at all. A fight triggers discomfort in the short term, but if done healthily it can be beneficial for a long-term relationship. Here's how.
1. Choose the time to fight
Don't start a fight with your partner if you two have no time to discuss it thoroughly. You can choose a looser time, for example when all the work is done, so that the discussion can take place more freely, more calmly, and more rationally because your emotions have also diminished.
2. Make requests and not nagging
People often nag about their partner's disliked habits and not directly ask their partner to do what they want. For example, instead of nagging, "How come you really mess up?" you better say, "I'm dizzy if the house falls apart like this. Can you help me do it or not?" The difference in the way this is delivered can have very different effects, you know.
3. Listen to what is meant and ask for clarification
Try to always listen to your partner without interrupting. Maybe this is hard to do when you're feeling emotional, but try to really hear and understand. For example, if your partner says he feels you don't care about him, try asking, "Which of my behaviors makes you feel like I don't care?" and instead of replying, "What's the matter? I already gave you a lot of attention!"
4. Learn how to apologize that is suitable for your partner
There are people who need romantic actions from the guilty party to feel their sincerity. However, there are also those who need more clear words that you are well aware of your mistakes and will not repeat them again. Learn which is right for your partner so that your apologies are more effective.
5. Get to know your partner's personality type and respect it
There are types of people who want to discuss problems as soon as they occur, but there are people who need time and space for themselves before they can face confrontation. Get to know the type of yourself and your partner and then try to respect your personalities. Give time if needed.
6. Don't fight in the bedroom
For married couples, the bedroom is a place to rest and seek tranquility. If you fight there, where can you rest and find peace afterwards? Make sure a fight occurs outside your bedroom.
7. Don't deviate from the topic
For example, if you quarrel about late habits, don't let your arguments go anywhere until your other habits, family, or other mistakes in the past. If one of you deviates, remind to return to the initial core of the problem so that the settlement is also clearer.
So, even though a fight cannot be avoided, it does not mean that all arguments must end badly and without benefit. If faced wisely, quarrels can open up new, honest and constructive discussions for the continuity of your relationship.